One change my spouse and I have worked on over the years is the following:

Rather than saying, "You didn't say that," we say, "I didn't hear you say that."

This is a small but powerful shift: it removes blame and creates space for next steps.

Whether or not someone said something becomes less relevant, and the focus instead is on the power of being heard.

The definitions of "hear" according to Merriam Webster include terms like "perceive of," "become aware," and "gain knowledge of by hearing;" whereas "listen" means "pay attention to sound."

The difference between hearing and listening lies in the effort to process and interpret the information that travels into your ear canals.

Recently, I joined my family's congregation in Dallas for a workshop with Resetting the Table where we worked on listening to get to a "bingo:" helping someone feel so heard and seen that they say "Bingo! You got me."

When discussing issues that cross political divides, this can be challenging to say the least.

And while this sounds similar to Active Listening, the Bingo approach encourages putting ideas into the listener's words (rather than the speaker's) to emphasize processing of what the speaker has said.

Coaching Supervision

How can I be authentic when I'm holding back?

The last couple of years have challenged my understanding of authenticity.

I've struggled to bring my whole self to my colleagues and clients, even as I work with teams to help them be more authentic with each other.

My journey with this paradox has been draining, but I'm grateful for access to supervision to help me process, reconcile—and HEAL.

What I've learned: authenticity isn't all or nothing. We can choose what and when to share.

Focusing on these questions is the hard part — and clearing the space to truly explore them.

If you haven't yet explored coaching supervision as part of your self-care and professional development as a coach, then this is your sign to start in 2026.

​Email me if you want to explore joining a cohort beginning in January/February - or explore 1:1 supervision.

This break, we had the joy of a week in Tahoe a friend's cabin, and being held still by massive amount of snow.

Our dog Shadow loved making fresh tracks in the snow and finding a spot to rest and protect us.

I like to think she was reminding us that she protects OUR rest, our reminder to pause, witness, and be still.

What did you notice as you stepped into 2026? Hit reply and let me know - I'd love to hear.

Even better: let's do a coffee chat!​