I help small to mid-size nonprofit leadership teams navigate strategic changes intentionally, effectively, and confidently through coaching engagements. My mission is to weave together the fabric of people for a stronger community.
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Do you like to get -- or give -- feedback? October from B3
Published 11 months ago • 3 min read
October 2025
Hi Reader,
This fall, as I notice the shifting of seasons, I'm aware of the liminality between summer and fall. Some of my noticing makes me think of practical matters, like planning for clothes. (Layers, always layers.)
More deeply, though, I'm aware of the shifting in my emotions, in my body, in my way of being... I notice myself aware of my connections to different communities that are experiencing conflict with each other, and I feel between the two spaces, aware of but nor belonging to either wholly. Often leaning to one direction, but never fully able to step out of the other.
How do you navigate your own liminality? What do you do when you feel between, your feet dangling in different spaces?
My own goal this season is to appreciate the gift of liminality and to imagine my perspective becoming wider and more fluid. To appreciate the "being with" of each space and wonder how I might feel more connected and connecting.
Team Coaching
Know the Purpose of Your Feedback
ai generated image of feedback
In the last few months, several of my team clients have asked me to tackle the topic of feedback with them: how can we get better (braver?) at sharing the constructive feedback we each need?
I've tackled this topic with a mix of training and coaching. I turned to my colleague Veronica Wolfe to expand my horizons, learning alongside my clients and aligning it with their goals.
Whether giving or receiving feedback, we all need clarity on the purpose of the feedback. Be clear if the purpose appreciative, to acknowledge something we've done well; or developmental, supporting growth area that is either corrective or a stretch.
Specificity is crucial. Focus on observation over judgment -- even for appreciative! The practice of "COIN" for all feedback helps make it stick. (Context-Observation-Impact-Next)
Understand feedback triggers. The work of Stone & Heen provide great insight into how we are triggered when we get feedback and offers tools for both giver & receiver to navigate them. Triggers include:
Truth: when we struggle to accept the feedback as true/aligned with our perspective about the situation.
Relational: when our feelings about the relationship impact our ability to give/receive feedback.
Identity: when the feedback feels dissociated from how we know ourselves.
What do you notice most within yourself when you give feedback or when you receive it?
These issues are deeply connected to other topics that come up in team coaching: how does our team handle conflict, how do we build trust, and how will we move through change together?
Coaching Supervision
Reminder for Self-Care
ICF recently updated its core competencies, and among other crucial updates it included this specific update to what it means to embody a coaching mindset (competency 2):
Maintains emotional, physical, and mental well-being in preparation for, throughout, and following each session.
What do YOU do to maintain your well being? What is your clear path to self-care?
FYI -- I have two supervision groups launching soon, and welcome those who want to explore supervision to help maintain their well-being. Links are at the bottom of this email.
A little reading
Systemic Constellations
One of my core tools is thinking in constellations, and I'm challenging myself to read more about the sources of my training. One of the hallmarks that makes systemic team coaching unique is profound systemic awareness - and much of that lies in the ability to see teams in this way.
The work is rooted, originally, in thinking about our internal family system: our understanding of the complexity of our own personality as if it is a family inside us.
Taking this lens to a team, it gives us a unique perspective to process and understand that interactions that happen within a team.
I'm so excited to dig deeper in to this topic, and hearing from other coaches who have done additional work in Internal Family Systems (IFS) and constellations.
On a Personal Note
Still racing... still having fun.
We call these "joy jumps"!
I had a race last month, leading in to my birthday! For a variety of reasons, I wasn't in a space to race safely... and if I couldn't be fast, I at least wanted to have FUN.
Hit reply and let me know how you're doing – I'm happy to listen and support.
PS: Interested in learning more about how to create the conditions to build trust on teams? Join me for two upcoming presentations of "Understand Trust on Teams: Psychology, Behaviors, and Building Sustainable Action Plans" for the Nonprofit Learning Lab coming up in January. Go to the Nonprofit Learning Lab site for details and (soon!) registration.
Let's work together!
Coaches
Interested in the reflective power of supervision? General Coaching Group Supervision starts Oct 21. TEAM Coaching Group Supervision starts Nov 6.
I help small to mid-size nonprofit leadership teams navigate strategic changes intentionally, effectively, and confidently through coaching engagements. My mission is to weave together the fabric of people for a stronger community.
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